How to Beautify Your To-Do List

Beautiful, but not very practical

An inordinate amount of my free time is spent slipping through the interwebs looking for inspiration. Inspiration for what? Pictures of gorgeous ball gowns. Blog posts about how to elegantly hold a purse. Tips on how to politely inform your parents that you are goth/steampunk/alternative. All well and good bits of information if, when I shut the browser, I feel better about the world.

However, I don't attend balls- or many events that necessitate such extravagant formal wear as a poor grad student. My various cards, accouterments and the like are stored in my backpack or coat pockets- not a purse. And my parents have always supported my eccentric behaviors.

My internet time while, not exactly wasted, hasn't helped me find inspiration for the actual day to day tasks with which I am faced. Looking through the beautiful costumes and gowns is uplifting but not helpful when trying to pull together a practical outfit for sitting in class. Tips for lady-like actions from the turn of the century are inspiring, but not applicable to modern day juggling between job, school, family and friends. Watching the slow transformation of an ordinary kitchen to a gothic masterpiece is only so useful as  you have a kitchen to similarly transform.

Again, beautiful design with limited applicability.

In short, the inspiration found online is good for the soul but not direct application. To actually begin taking steps towards direct application, you need to for go your sources of inspiration and take a look at what you actually do in your day, wear in your week, or have in your room.

One of the most wearable and practical steampunk outfits I've found

For instance, I went through my day and came up with a basic list of activities of which I partake: breakfast,
commuting by foot to school, class note taking, class participation  lunch, homework, dinner, keeping in touch with friends, reading, blogging, letter writing and sewing. There are other activities interspersed depending on the season and location, but on a given day it is a good bet that I preform the majority of these activities.  Obviously, the list will be different for each person.

Lets take the first activity, breakfast. A normal, dull routine consisting of oatmeal with various garnishes and a cup of tea. How do I make this more Aristocratic? I could improve the setting: have flowers on the table. Make sure I sit down and eat leisurely  Include a fruit with breakfast. Take time to read through a novel or nothing at all rather than rush. Make sure I don't skip a meal. Again, it depends on your aesthetic for how you would improve this meal to better suit yourself.

Or take another: homework. For me, an Aristocrat studies for understanding the material rather than the test grade. This means completing all assignments in an orderly fashion. Pre-reading the lecture material and outlining sections to ask questions and going back to review material that may have been forgotten.

A much easier to attain aesthetic as well

Ideally, you should go through each of your activities and brainstorm a list of how to do such daily activity in a more elegant, gothic, steampunk, or lolita manner- depending on  your aesthetic. Then choose one aspect from one activity and practice it for a week. Pay attention to how it changes your life, how it makes you feel, and, if it improves your general day to day living, keep it. If not, move on to something else.  At the moment, I am trying not to rush through meals, but take them slow and consciously.

It is well and good to dream about your aesthetic or to live it on the weekend, but why limit yourself and live your days in humdrum existence?

Penpals and Interpals: How to Find a Penpal on the Internet

How I would like to look writing a letter

That letter writing is superior to e-mails or texts, is a first principle of most alternative cultures. The pleasure of receiving a thick envelope in the mail, reading another person's joys and sorrows in their own handwriting, feeling a real connection knowing that this letter was held in another's hands and traveled possibly thousands of miles to arrive at your door step. Nor need it be argued that the material of letter writing is infinitely preferable- the thick stationary, themed stamps, pens, fountain or quill, colored ink, and sealing wax. These are all able to reflect a particular aesthetic. But even a letter written on lined school paper in pencil is precious.

So, you have your paper, your pen, your desire to write the stories that clutter up your mind and have no outlet- but no address on your envelope. Correspondence isn't a single girl's game. There must be two to write.

I have six penpals to exchange letters with. Only two of them, my grandparents and my cousin, I knew previously. The other's are completely new. Where did I find them? On the internet.

"Pleasant Letter" by Alfred Stevens

There are many sites to help penpals find similarly minded people. I've tried several over the years and my favorite is Interpals. The basic process is simple. You sign up for a free account which lets you create a profile. On this profile you can write as much or as little as you choose, though there are prompts like favorite books, favorite movies, etc. Unless you restrict the privacy settings, you can go view the profiles of other people and others can view your profile. If you find someone who strikes your interest, you send them a message. 

Yes, before you object, there are creeps, dullards, and pervs on the site. There's no way to really filter them on a free site. However, you have complete control over how much information you reveal about yourself- and you certainly wouldn't put anything too confidential. There is also a handy tool to block users from looking, commenting or sending you a message. 

But these are a small percentage of the genuinely lovely population which makes up the site. The trick to finding like minded people is to know how to write your profile and what to look for in a penpal. These are my tips to finding a good penpal on the internet:

Think before you write.

First, know what you want out of a penpal. Do you want long heartfelt letters dripping in emotions for each letter? Or do you prefer something lighter, more day to day activities? Do you want a regular correspondent who sends off a letter ever two weeks? Or someone who writes longer, more irregular letters? Do you care about mail art? Or is the content good enough for you?

For me, I am an irregular correspondent and I warn my potential penpals of that from the first message. There are days that I am inspired to write a twenty page letter and there are times when two or three months pass without comment. Know yourself and don't expect more from others than you do yourself. I also prefer longer, more emotional letters to chatty letters- but again. Know your audience- it is possible to have many different flavors of correspondent. 

The Queen Mother writing letters before her marriage in 1923

Second, your profile:

~ Don't be stereotypical. This includes saying "I'm looking for interesting people." (Who isn't?), starting your profile with any variation of "Hi, My name is X. I am a X. I like X, X, X...." This is a chance to show your creativity and intelligence. In the same line, don't say "ask if you want to know more" when you have given the reader nothing to ask about.

~ Don't include a four inch paragraph of one word sound bites. Yes, it might pick up many more search keywords, but it is a pain to read through and gives very little about your personality.

~ Do write a long profile and update regularly. There is no shame in spending a great deal of time and effort making sure the face you are presenting to the world is as authentic, beautiful and thoughtful as possible. Yes, you are advertising yourself. That is why the website exists. So create a profile that strikes the balance between the person you'd like to talk with and who you are honestly. Personality isn't static.

~ Do include favorite books. It is the ultimate judge of a profile for me. I love Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. I could probably quote more trivia than you'd believe possible. But if in the past twenty years you haven't read anything in the whole history of human fiction and non-fiction which you like better than Harry Potter- that is sad. Very sad. Also, if you want to speak with intelligent Europeans, your book list had better be extensive and varied. 

~ Do be polite with everyone. The annoying "hi how r u?" messages are inevitable. There are many ways to deal with them: block the offender, ignore the offender, send a brief "no thank you," or, my preferred method, a polite "no thank you" with a brief explanation of why you are declining the conversation. At least this way, they can see what mistake they made and maybe keep from doing it again.

~ Do respond to first messages promptly. If someone new messages you or someone replies to your opening message favorably, reply as soon as possible. It keeps the worry at bay.

~  Do be proactive in searching and messaging potential penpals. Don't wait for them to contact you first. Your first message should be short - no more than five sentences- show that you read the profile, ask a follow up question, and give them the chance to back out if they aren't interested. 

~ Do not be offended if someone doesn't wish to speak with you. There may not be that spark. There may not be the time. There may not be the interest. Either way, people are not obliged to speak with you. It is polite to give them a chance to back out to keep feathers from being ruffled. I ask that if they are too busy to write to give me a title of a book that they enjoyed, preferably from their country.

~ Do exchange several letters before giving out your address. Not only to make sure the person is trustworthy, but also to make sure that you have a good chemistry for writing.

~ Do have fun. This is a great way to be exposed to many different conversations and cultures. Be savvy, polite and never apologetic for your country. Think of good stories you want to share and specific things you want to know. 

In another post, I'll give my tips for writing a good letter. If you are interested in contacting me via interpals, my screen name is "EvelynCEC7B8." I'd love to talk. Have any of you used an online penpal finder?

Aesthetic Analysis: an Introduction

 On a lark, I went back to re-read my original introduction. The passion I captured still resonates, but I've only focused on two of the three purposes. This past month especially, I've been able to give some tips for applying the aesthetic and chronicled some episodes of my life. However, despite a general post about evolving knowledge for a wider aesthetic, this blog has been lax in actually discovering the aesthetic of a Neo-Aristocrat. Which is a shame, considering the hundreds of pictures I've collected over the years that have struck my fancy or made me think "Ah! This is Aristocratic."

Hence, an introduction of a new series: Inspiring your Aesthetic.

This will be a fun, easy series. Each post will include one picture from my collection, usually fashion related. Generally falling into either Steampunk, Lolita, or Gothic. There may be some architectural or interior design ideas. Maybe others. I'll explain what elements appeal to me about this picture, what can apply to me, and how I can add more of these elements to my daily life. Unfortunately, most of these pictures were collected long before I thought of sharing them on my blog, so I don't have credits or references. If you recognize one, please let me know where it is from so I can link back.

What I love most about this photo is the color composition. Everything matches without being monochrome. The wall matches the lampshade, which transforms into the pewter lamp, which connects to the glossy finish on the table. The woman's outfit matches as well. The white of the shirt matching the color of her corset while the corsets accents pull in the brown of the skirt.  Then the position of her hands, the empty space created by her arms, the tilt of her torso contrasted against the horizontal lines of the table- it is a beautifully composed piece which, like a flower arrangement, improves the longer I look.

Unfortunately, the look itself doesn't work on my body type. The colors themselves would be flattering and practical- I always think cream and brown are a lovely combination. However, my shoulders are broad enough that they excess mutton sleeves would make me look ridiculous. Considering I've never found a pencil skirt to flatter my hips, I doubt I'll find a fishtail dress that will. However, as a cleaner version of the traditional Victorian bustle, it works nicely on this model.

I do like some of the details. The tight wrists with the dark buttons alluding to spats is an interesting idea and relatively easy to do. If the sleeves were a little less full and mutton-y, I'd like the cut off at the elbow. The lack of sleeves would be neat and clean. No accidentally knocking a glass over with a sweeping gesture. The high neck with the ruffles is also a good touch, and the gathering at the bodice.

As for the decoration, I like it. Not for my entire house and probably not so minimal, but for a room? That grey is a beautiful color to paint the walls and I love how the complex carvings of the table contrasts with the simple lines of the lamp. The flowers add a touch of life and softness to the otherwise dead elements. As an entry way, with that the table for the mail? Yes.

Unfortunately, being a poor grad student with one room to my name, there is little direct aesthetic I can glean from this picture. There are a few lessons I can take forward:

~ I like the complementary colors. When choosing outfits or thrifting, I can look for pieces that match what I have in my closet better.

~ The dominant color scheme of my room is brown and red- yet all my furniture is varying shades of brown. This summer, I can buy some stain and darken the wood to a richer brown to match the red. I should also choose my accessories with more care- a more dominate theme might be beneficial.

~ I like the high collar and the button arms- those might be able to replicate in a shirt.

~ I can try to declutter many of the flat surfaces I have around my room. Make them a little less chaotic looking and a  little more stylish.

Was there any inspiration that you drew out of this picture?

Two Principles for Getting Along with Anyone

Conversation by Sergey Solomko

There are days when I wish I could retreat to a lonely castle in the mountains. My servants would be the spirits of the wind- silent and invisible. The nearest village would be a twenty mile hike through impenetrable wilderness. No one would talk to me and I would not have to talk to anyone.

For the sensitive among us- the artists, ladies, gentlemen for whom a casual comment wounds deeply- who can not just shrug off the words of the world, it can be difficult to navigate the treacherous waters of the social world. Was that comment meant in jest? Or was it meant as a subtle insult? Did the turn in conversation reflect some commentary on my actions? Or was it innocent and we are, once again, over reacting? Seeing demons in the mist?

For those of us with cut glass souls, it seems as there are two options in dealing with the world. Either we wrap our fragile hearts in a deep cloak of cynicism and irony- allowing not even the sincere comments to penetrate. Or we remain open, vulnerable, and continually exposed to the slings and arrows of outrageous conversion.

From Rttmsdag on Deviant Art

While I would not forgo my sensitive nature, there are two ways I've found to blunt the tongues and actions of others.

First, assume beautiful intent.

The laws of physics create too many beautiful phenomenal for the universe to be malevolent. Look at newly discovered nebula, artistic renditions of common proteins, or the patterns carved into the sand by wind and water. Maybe these aren't inherently beautiful, but humans have found them so. In the same way, even if we can't apply the words good or bad to the universe entire, we can certainly choose to appreciate it as beautiful  rather than ugly.

Applying this idea further, when meeting or interacting with people, assume they are being governed by the same laws of physics that created all of these glorious phenomena and are the best they can possibly be at that moment. Maybe you can't see it right now, but you might also not be aware of all the various factors in their life which are exerting an influence on them. The quiet, withdrawn person who didn't return your greeting so enthusiastically might be suffering from bad news or impending job loss.  We might never be aware of every factor in their lives, so better to assume they are being the best they can be.

From "How to End a Conversation"

However, if something hurtful rather than negligent slips, fall back to the second principle:

Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by incompetence.

Hanlon's razor is not the most flattering image of humanity, but has proven true in most cases. It has also helped me more than the first principle because it relies on an underlying principle which I know is true "You are not the center of the world." Quite honestly, none of us are important enough to incur the malice of everyone we meet. (If you are, well done.  You've lived a more Nietzchen life than me).

People's thoughtless comments are rarely planned out carefully with the intention to hurt. Twists in the conversation are almost never commentary about some aspect of yourself. Most likely, people are forgetful, stupid, or haven't made certain connections. If you point out how a comment made you feel, most will be horrified and, probably, think you a little strange for being so affected.

Plus, in all honesty, it certainly feels better to think that the hurtful comment was the mistake of someone else rather than one of your own.

An Elegant Soiree

The next time you're in a conversation or go to a party, try to enter assuming beautiful intent. If that doesn't sweep away the niggling barbs, assume incompetence rather than malice. People aren't out in the world to make you miserable.

A final thought. If you have met someone who does unleash a near constant or reliable stream of perceived insults, limit your interactions with them. Their negativity is unnecessary in your life. If you can't get away, try talking to them and explaining how their words are perceived.

Aristocrat in the Kitchen: Plate Size

From November 2011 of Martha Stewart Living

Food is one of the most important and most complicated things we do to our bodies. Passion  lifestyle, memories, and health all center around your diet and yet there is so much confusing and conflicting information about what to eat and what is healthy to eat. Untangling those problems is a series of posts for another day.

What I want to talk about today is plate size.

I have a confession: despite my schooling, intentions, and better knowledge, I don't eat until I feel full or, better yet, until I'm not hungry. I eat until my plate is empty. As with everything, there are several reasons: I eat at my desk while studying, I don't pay enough attention, I put off hunger until my blood sugar drops, I am loath to throw food away, etc. Many of you probably have similar problems.

However, as we all know, over eating is a huge problem in America and the developed world. The body is overwhelmed by the calories, the processed sugars and carbs, the sheer glut of food- and becomes sluggish and unresponsive. I lack the self discipline to leave that last half of toast on the plate or those last four bites of pasta in the bowl. If I try to impose such discipline on myself, then the struggle exhausts my will power and I end up caving in somewhere else. Studies show this is a common phenomenon.

Found on Haute Design by Sarah Klassen

This is all to explain why I am so happy with my latest discovery in the realm of life hacks: little plates and bowls.

There are two principles I am working from:

First, the human body is designed for feast and famine situations. It wants to over eat because it lives in constant fear that this will be the last meal ever, despite seeing the full fridge and cupboards every day. Unfortunately, there is not much we can do to overwrite this biological predisposition. Will power only gets you so far.

Second, the reversal of the shopping cart phenomena. Stores use huge shopping carts to encourage shoppers to buy more. After all, the contents of your grocery list look pitiful in the expanse of empty wire. Why not add a few chips?

Korean Banchan

My room mates have in addition to their normal plates and bowls, a set of salad and small soup bowls that hold about a cup of soup. For the past week, I've been trying to exclusively eat with these smaller dinner ware and these are my results:

~ One cup of soup- the recommended portion size on the side of the box- looks pathetic and sad in a regular bowl. In a small one, it looks like a full meal. A single scoop of vegetables or pasta seems dwarfed by the vastness of a regular plate. On a salad plate, it looks overflowing. By restricting the size, I've simulated over abundance and satisfy my bodies worry of not having enough.

~ I am not hungry.  Despite reducing my portions by sometimes up to 50%, I don't feel hungry at the end of the meal. I remain satisfied until the next meal. It might be the visual cue of an empty plate which sets off my

~ There are more meals in my fridge. Because I'm still cooking the same amount but eating much less, I can usually squeeze another serving from the food prepared. A lucky find for grad students on a budget!

~ I pay more attention to what I'm eating- this could just be the  novelty of using smaller dinner ware and will fade as I acclimate, but I enjoy having a bowl I can hold in the palm of my hand. Which means that-

~  I usually eat slower, chew more and enjoy the food more. All essential proponents of better digestion.

~ I feel better. Both physically for eating better and less and psychically for being virtuous and dainty by using smaller portions.

~ There's more room in the dishwasher. A very small point, but it makes me happy to increase the space between unloading.

Beautiful Iranian plates

 I'd like to add an addendum to a rule mentioned in an earlier post:

A Neo-Aristocrat knows how to manipulate his or her environment to best suit his or her well being.

Rather than worry about weight gain, struggle with ingrained habits, and feel bad about my lack of discipline  I manipulated the world and did away with the problems. If you want to do the same, here are some tips:

~ Go to the thrift store and purchase a small plate and small bowl. Salad size or smaller. It shouldn't cost more than a few dollars. Naturally, don't buy doll size plates. Choose something that will reduce your food intake without taking you to the opposite extreme of anorexia.

~ If you can't afford that at the moment- believe me I understand- try just putting less food on your plate. It doesn't have quite the same effect, since the food looks so soft and pitiful and I feel like I'm not eating enough, but it make work for now.

~ Make sure you do the same technique for your other snacks. Don't bring a bag of chips to the desk- bring a small bowl. Try buying smaller fruit to eat. Make sure that there is a definite limit to your food.

Are there any other tips for portion control that you have?

Why Wash Wool (and Other Natural Fibers)

In an earlier post, I promised an explanation of how I wash my natural fibers. I am beginning to collect quite a few different pieces of 100% something or the other, only because I have overcome my fear of ruining those pieces in the wash- a fear which seems common to many people browsing the thrift store. This will not be an exhaustive tutorial of how to washing things- and if any of it is incorrect, please let me know before its too late. It's simply what has worked for me in the past.

If it is laundry day and the pile of clothing looms threateningly, do not- I repeat- do not just throw it all into the washer and run away. Different fabrics require different care depending on how they are created at a microscopic layer. Wool, for instance, is the hair of a sheep. And like our hair is comprised of tiny scales. When these strands are heated, the scales spring open and latch on to each other. If the fibers are then agitated, these newly formed teeth reach out and claw across each other, sticking and tangling- so when you pull your sweater out of the wash (which is designed to heat and agitate fabrics) it's the shape remains but about twenty sizes too small because of how the fibers compacted. Hence horror stories of ruined wool items.

But fear not- this need not be the fate of all garments.

First, look at the inside tag of each and ever item. These are put on by the makers who generally have a decent idea about how their item should be handled. If it says wash in cold, put in a cold pile. If warm, put in a warm pile.Never the two shall mix. It is surprising how many natural fibers can stand up to the washing machine- I have cashmere sweaters that like warm and cotton that likes hot.

If the tag says dry clean- it's a suggestion- not a commandment carved in stone.Put it to the side for the moment.

If the tag says dry clean ONLY- you're in a dilemma  The most common reason for this concern is that the item has a, generally, wool exterior and a silk or polyester lining. If you wash the wool in warm, it will shrink. If you wash the polyester in cold, it won't be washed. Dry cleaners- through magic I know not- are able to circumvent this problem. I've come up with three possible solutions:

~ If you have the money, want to ensure the life span of the piece, or just bought it from the thrift store, take it to the dry cleaners.

~ If you are a broke grad student like me and are ambivalent about necessary cleanliness or lifespan of the piece, put it in the pile with the other dry clean pieces.

~ If you are hard core, remove the lining from the item, wash each separately, and, I guess, resew them together afterwards.

Now, look to the much smaller pile of dry clean garments. What you need now is a bath tub, some mild detergent  and many, many, many towels. A spare room is also useful. Or understanding room mates.This technique is especially recommended for Grad students because the steps are far enough spaced that you can get a good chunk of studying finished between each.

First, fill up the bath tub with cold- it must be cold- water. Add a bit of detergent. Let the detergent soak in and then carefully add your sweaters and other things. If you are terribly conscientious, separate colors from whites from black. Fill the tub so that all the sweaters are submerged.

Do not scrub the sweaters.

Do not swish them about.

Do not mix them up, turn them over, attempt to reenact the parting of the red seat, etc.

Do squish them down lightly until they are submerged. Do gently press down on them- careful not to agitate the fibers. Do work any particularly dirty spots generally. (For actual stains, consult the internet.)

Let them soak in the water for as long as it takes you to memorize another chapter, then drain the water, fill the tub up again, and soak. This is the rinsing phase.

Once, you feel the detergent sufficiently rinsed, drain and leave the sweaters in there for a while. Press gently on them to remove some of the excess water, but let most of it drain out through gravity.

Here is where the towels come into play. After the sweaters are washed, rinsed, and drained, pick them up gently and, without squeezing, wringing or twisting, lay them flat on a towel. Yes, they will be heavy and soaked. Roll the towel up, squeeze out the excess water and transfer the sweater to another towel in another room. It will take about two days to dry fully (see what I said about understanding room mates) check twice a day to turn the sweater over and change out the towel underneath.

This would be an excellent time and place to put all those other clothes to dry. For, as you were reading the labels  you'll notice that about half of those clothes that can go into the dryer ask to be either line dried or dried flat. Listen to those requests! It is the hot air and the tumble drying that wear out clothes so fast. Plus, by air drying, you are saving electricity on your bill.

If a garment is knitted rather than woven, it will most likely be asked to be dried flat. If you try to dry it on a hanger, the garment is going to lose its form and you'll end up with awkward bumps on the top of the shoulder. Most unsightly.  Lay these out on a towel as well and they should be dried with in a day or two.

Those with tags that say tumble dry low, can be tumble dried low with just about everything else that is left over.

Now, you are still not quite finished. After everything has dried out, pick up your iron and ruin it quickly over your linens, cottons and any wool that are wrinkled. Pay attention to the tag not the iron settings. Another annoying thing about synthetic fibers is that you can't iron them without turning them into plastic. Natural fibers can be ironed and have that lovely, crisp quality. Then hang everything in the closet right away rather than keeping it piled on your floor. After all that work, it would be a shame not to put things away properly.

Do you see why washer women were so Vital to the Victorians?

Much like this post, laundry can seem enormously challenging. But it's not. All told, it is maybe three hours of work spread out over two days time. Getting up to change the laundry, turn over the sweaters or iron a few shirts is a great study break and can calm the mind while the hands remain busy. Plus, the next time that you put on your sweater, skirt, shirt or otherwise, you know that you are wearing something of great personal value.

If anyone has tips, tricks or questions, I'd love to hear them. Again, if it seems I am doing something wrong, let me know.

This Is Your Mood on Music

Painted by Michael Workman

For the past few weeks my mood swung towards the melancholy. Perhaps it is the change of seasons. Perhaps it is the grey skies and rain that mark the coming of summer. Perhaps it is just the natural swing of my moods.

http://media-cache-ak1.pinimg.com/originals/72/69/0e/72690e430e10b0871151ca578d3356f6.jpg

 I've noticed that a number of more atmospheric songs have infiltrated their way into my current, constant play list. Kafabindunya has beautiful, ethereal sounds - I recommend that you listen to them at least once- but they are long and melancholy. Listening to them I can transport myself to the lost wastelands of a post-apocalyptic world where the skies are every grey and the light is ever muted and the only living thing for miles is me. Reading, writing, accomplishing meaningful tasks seems beyond the scope of my energy.

As finals loom on the horizon, I have begun to play more classical music from a long instilled belief that the mathematical precision of bach can help me master all of physics. (It can't.) But in the past few days, my attention span has improved, I've crossed off several tasks on my to do list, and have been feeling more energetic and stable. Melancholia is relegated to those brief moments of contemplating the grey sky.

 In short, music not only effects my mood but my ability to function in the world. 

http://www.dpreview.com/challenges/Entry.aspx?ID=473441

Now, I realize I am a highly sensitive introvert. Music, art, movies, really all media, affect me on a deeper level than they do for friends and family. It is only natural that my mood would be very affected by my sound track. Combined with  the seasonal changes and the weather, I became a perfect tuning fork for melancholia.

Melancholia is not a wrong or sinful state to be in. On the contrary  our obsession with remaining happy and stable is detrimental to our well being. Sadness, like pain, allows us to realize that there is something that makes us unhappy and needs to be fixed. It allows for greater introspection and empathy- two other characteristics sorely lacking from modern society. 

But melancholia without reason is harmful. Melancholia which lasts for too long is unhealthy. There are also times which are not conductive to being mournful and thoughtful- such as finals and tax season. Attempting to live forever in the state of feeling the worlds or your own anguish- much less basing your identity around such feelings- is frankly, counterproductive and idiotic. This is another problem I have with the Goth subculture as I understand it (please correct me if I'm wrong). "Memento Mori" (1) is vital but, as La Rouchfoucauld stated with his usual brevity "Le soleil ni la mort ne se peuvent regarder fixement." (2)

http://media-cache-lt0.pinterest.com/originals/a6/48/aa/a648aae5078b597a49efa28a8c2d1a53.jpg

Two lessons have been gleaned from this experience:

First, a Neo-Aristocrat knows his or herself. 

Second, a Neo-Aristocrat knows how to manipulate his or her moods to best fit the situation.

Faking or repressing emotions fails, but if you know yourself well enough to know what affects your moods, why listen to music which will make you less capable or functional? Better to wait until you have the space (and you should make the space) to be melancholy and then use the music to further your mood.

1. Remember that you will die

2. Neither the sun nor death can be looked upon fixedly.