September 8, 2013

Remaking an Aristocrats Closet: Goodbye Lolita

Ever since the beginning, Lolita has been one of my inspirations for creating the Neo-Aristocrat look.  I fell in love with the strange silhouette, the delicate details, the care and attention of the enthusiasts, and the general aesthetic. It was so different than what I had experienced before. Petticoats, ruffles, learning the difference between a OP and a JSK and a cutsew. Learning to identify favorite style, favorite brands and then- the purchase of my first dress. It was a Lolita Blog that inspired me to begin blogging. Lolita is the only alternative aesthetic I've actually purchased clothing from.

And yet, it is time to say goodbye. 

This is not to say that I shall shun Lolita. Delete all my lolita bloggers. Or even keep from looking at various brands for their new designs. Because the aesthetic is still immensely appealing. 

Just not for me anymore. 

One of the hallmarks of Lolita is the delicacy of the outfits and, by extension the maidens who wear it. When I look at the outfits, I am filled with admiration, but also a sense of ungainliness. I'm a relatively short person, but when I consider Lolita I feel too tall and lumbering. Like I wouldn't know what to do with my hands, the ruffles, the frills and lace. The clothing, even classic, just seems young and suited for a lifestyle I don't share. 

And frankly, that's not what you want out of a style. Even one as beautiful and appealing as Lolita. Fashion should make you feel elegant and confident. It should bring out your best qualities, not make you feel lesser. For some people, Lolita does this. For me, it doesn't. Since I am now in a place where I want to start defining my style- being able to cross of Lolita from my list is a relief rather than sad. 

Currently, I have two lolita blouses, two lolita dresses and a petticoat. I'm not sure what to do with them since they reside in the part of the closet that I adore but never wear. Perhaps I'll see if I can sell them or try to incorporate them into my new wardrobe. If not, maybe they can inspire some other girl in a thrift shop. 

It feels like the end of an era, but also good. I can now cross off a particular aesthetic from my list rather than leave it open as a possibility. Hopefully, as I do this, I'll slowly whittle down my vast interests into something that is genuinely me. 


  1. lolita is quite firmly dismissed by me too. I enjoy looking at it, but it is very intrinsically not "me". The style is, as a whole, much too girly and feminine. Also the attention to style rules, brands and the whole virginal image are all quite off-putting for me. I am much more inspired by Elegant Gothic Aristocrat styles than Gothic Lolita.

    1. I definitely get the Elegant Gothic Aristocrat vibe from your style. It works well.

      Femininity is a quality I still want to keep in my future wardrobe, but I think it is possible to do so without being too young and girly. I ended up putting on my lolita skirts for an attempt at an outfit and found that they no longer felt right. Once they made me feel wildly pretty. But now they just felt constrained and a little silly. Just goes to show how people change over time.

      From my tentative pulse on the community for the past two years it seems like the dogma of style is loosening slightly as the style becomes more international. Who knows.

      Still, I have a lot of respect for people who manage full Lolita.

    2. I definitely more lean more towards an androgynous style than a feminine one, but I do love my skirts too... When I was a child I dreamed about long flowing full lenght skirts and dresses and I'm still a fan of that silhouette! But I would never wear anything really frilly, or really pink, or really cute... That's just not me. Dark skirts with an edge is more me! I am uncomfortable with outfits that make me feel pretty or cute or overly feminine. I feel more comfortable with striking or elegant.

      Yeah, all respect to the Lolitas! It's hard work to be full time, full on Lolita! And yay for loosening dogmas, I'm always a fan of that kind of development!

  2. I think you can like something without having to wear it all the time, and commit to one style only. Half of me is a tomboy in shirts, tank-tops and combats, the other half of me is a girly-girl in ruffles, petticoats and frills, and so while I love Lolita, I don't wear it half as much as I could, and I don't think I could commit to being a lifestyle Lolita. That said I'm a Goth, through and through, but that's a big broad category, and I'm as much a Goth when I've got on New Rocks, bullet-belts and spikes as I am when I'm wearing an elegant skirt and ruffled cuffs, so I don't feel pinned by it so much. I guess the important thing is to wear what you feel comfortable in.